Jung+Hwan+&+Adibah

“Ouch!” He said. “Where am I? He fell into a hole and landed on a sharp surface but was too surprised by his surrounding to feel the pain as he stared at the dark, empty dusty space. He felt the wall, trying to identify the space. “I’ve never been here before” Suddenly, he felt a door knob and out of his curiosity, he turned it and for the first time, he witnessed the vast green grass spreading to the horizon. “Wait. Why no red ground?” he questioned himself.
 * __ Murshid the Martian __**

“What in the world can this place be? Does that really exist or am I dreaming?” He asked himself as he felt the pain on his arm where he had this deep wound that he got as he fell into the hole. “This must be real… Otherwise why am I feeling this nasty pain” he mumbled as he suffered the pain. “Oh my God” He shouted as some thoughts of the past passed his mind. He remembered the planet that his grandfather once told him, the mysterious green planet. Where the feathered tribe sings, where the wildness of green exists. Murshid, the teenage Martian boy was in planet Earth.

He stepped a few paces and looked around, still lost and wondering. “Where should I start? There are so many things to do and explore! So many experiments that I thought were ludicrous can finally be done!” he thought with enthusiasm and continued “...But then again, how can I face the so-called earth with my tentacles and my slimy and rough pink skin? I don’t look any similar to the two feet pedestrian species of the earth… What am I suppose to do now?” he thought as he placed his slimy body on the rough, moist grass and think through his worries away.

Surely Murshid was merely a monster to the organisms of the earth. Since ever after his spacecraft crashed on, it seemed like the region had been dead. All the creatures around were scared of his revolting appearance, and Murshid could feel that. The frightful staring of the surroundings saddened him deeply. “I shouldn’t have gone off for this trip. I should have listened to what my dad told me. Oh I miss you, dad and I’m really sorry that I didn’t listened to you. I even miss the times you used to sold me” Murshid shouted in agony of misery at the purplish sky which seemed as lonely as he is.

He realized there was no use shouting at the sky as it never troubled him. He looked down and remembered something. He quickly opened his wallet to discover the pictures of his family members. Mom, dad, sister and Uncle Ricard were smiling merrily. Then he remembered that his dad left him a note, hidden behind his picture. It was a card. “In need of help, call this 0976348452” the card read.

At night, he planned it all. When the clock struck midnight, he made his way to the first phone booth he could find. He found an empty one and dialed the number. He could not hear anything other than the white noise from it. It seemed that the number does not exist. The only hope had vanished into the atmosphere. He made his way back to his spaceship, he’s steps could never be heavier than that. About the time he reached his so-called home, the spaceship, he realized that there were some changes in the area. He could see footsteps on the ground and soon he realized he was surrounded by people in black clothing. The Men in Black were there, waiting for him.

A rush of fear ran through his veins. He wanted to run away but he knew he had to face them somehow. “Don’t fear us, we’re here to help,” he said. “Me? I don’t need any help,” Murshid said trying to sound hopeful but he knew in his heart that he sounded ever so scared. “We know what you need, this,” he said as he pulled out a syringe from his pocket. The other one just stood behind him trying to not let him escape. The odd looking syringe contained mystic chemical which merely seemed jeopardy. “This is the only break through for you to adopt the life in here.” He said as he pierced the syringe into Murshid’s grotesque skin. “OUCH!” Murshid screamed in anguish. He could feel burning sensation within him, the agony of suffering of the glowing flame within him. The pain he had on that faithful night could never be described. The pain was so vast, severe that no-one could dream of and there The Men in Black stood still and observed the suffering of Murshid. ‘Oh god, I’m going to die here aren’t I?” He could see all the experience from his past flashing in front of him. That’s when all the things started change. From his revolting tentacles to his grotesque pinkish skin, everything stared to change. His tentacles turned into arms and legs, his pinkish skin turned brownish dry skin and his slimy body changed into a perfect form of humanity. He was mortal.

He couldn’t stop admiring himself from the reflection of the mirror. “Alright, pretty boy. We’re not done yet. There’s a lot more to discover out there. By the way, I’m Mike,” said one of them. Actually, Murshid couldn’t tell the difference between the two of them. He just gave a nod. Out they went, into the streets. It was cold outside. It seemed like such a perfect day. The sun was shining, clouds high up in the sky. Earth seemed more colourful than mars. The Men in Black brought Murshid to a carnival. It was crowded but Murshid didn’t mind, he’s never seen so many people before.


 * __COMMENTS

Faiss__**

My view of this story is that it is brief, maybe a bit too brief. The plot and the character is not properly and fully developed which is a shame seeing the potential of this story. Furthermore this story does not have a proper conclusion to an otherwise good story, Please write more the next time you guys do this, ok!


 * __Aidan__**

I noticed that new lines were not started everytime speech was inserted into the story. Whilst accomplishing a basic storyline so far, the composers have not bothered in using a wider range of vocabulary to further describe and explain the current situation. Since Murshid (in this story) is not of this world, shouldn't the composers describe what his appearance may be? I agree with Faiss. We need a little more content so that we can actually comment on your story.

We both know you two can do much better than this. Don't be afraid to explore and use new words, even if you hardly know the definition. The classroom is a place to make mistakes.