Max+and+Ben

=Superman VS Pikachu=

Max: Somewhere in Metropolis, Superman flies around in a manly manner, searching the city for threats to humanity. However Superman got arrogant and thought he was the only one that could fly when sudddenly, PIKACHU BURSTS OUT OF THE SKY IN A FLASH OF LIGHTNING!

Ben: He collided with Superman knocking him to the ground and Pikachu hit the ground as well. Superman then got up and was very angry. Pikachu got up as well but surprisingily happy. Superman flew as fast as lighting and grabbed Pikachu. Pikachu was frightened and shocked Superman with his powers. Later on Ash, Pikachu’s owner, came along happy as well and found superman on the floor with static around his body. He also saw Pikachu on the floor scared.

Max: However, quite suddenly Pikachu arises from the floor and stares Superman in the eye and says "Pika- Pi". Quickly digging in his bag, Ash brings out what Superman thinks to be a potion, but in actual fact it is a bottle of Red Bull! Surprised and taken aback Superman has no time to react to the extreme fast attacks of Pikachu and his catalyst, RED BULL!

Superman then realised that he was THE Superman and he cannot be killed unless he is exposed to a type of green moon rock. The battle began between the two with Ash shouting a lot of special attack such as “thunder shock”, “tackle” and many more. Pikachu listened to Ash before he did anything. On the other hand, superman managed to withstand all of their attacks and was still fighting back but found it hard as he could not get within 2 meters of Pikachu. If Superman did get within that range Pikachu was to “zap” him with something. Superman than saw that Pikachu was running low on energy and Ash is looking very tired too but Superman was still fully charged as he gets his energy form the sun. He then thought that if he keeps this going he might be able to hit Pikachu. The battle went on for another ten minutes and then finally superman found a weak point and charged towards Pikachu like a bullet hitting him to the floor and took Ash’s bag full of items.

After Superman grabbed Ash's bag of items he quickly disintergrated it using his laser vision, as he did this Ash saw his only hope of winning vanish into thin air. In despair Ash sunk to his knees and almost admitted defeat, when a flash of bright light erupted from Pikachu. At this instance all the blood drained out of Superman's face as he realised what was happening before his very eyes. Pikachu was evolving into Raichu, now equipped with a stronger attack and faster reaction speed Superman realised he could not win this fight without the help of something or someone else.

When the flash covering Pikachu disappeared and when Superman’s eyes adjusted to the light. He found out that Pikachu did not involve as he would need a thunder stone which could only be obtained by a pokemon professional. Superman then laughed as he saw Pikachu’s small red cheeks having static around them. Then Superman charged to Pikachu hoping that this would bring him down for good but then his plan backfired when Pikachu let out all the static he obtained by the air releasing it to unleash 5000 volts electric shock, shocking Superman high up in the air and flying into town.

As Superman was sent back into town with Pikachu's shock, Ash withdrew Pikachu and took out another Pokemon. He had released Charizard. A strong, reddish orange coloured Pokemon, which has the ability to breathe fire at 15,000 degrees Celsius. Being a dragon he could obviously fly. As Charizard rose into the air Ash climbed aboard his back and flew back to the Kanto region. As this was happening Superman emerges from the rubble of the now destroyed road, and swore revenge on Pikachu and Ash. Flying high into the air Superman chased after the small orange dot on the horizon.

Having Pikachu by Ash’s side, on Charizard, saw another red dot flying very fast. The dot became bigger and bigger till the dot came clear, it was Superman flying towards them very fast. Pikachu quickly grabbed Ash and pointed at Superman’s direction. Ash turned back to Charizard and told him to land quickly. In the air, Charizard was about to land when, Superman was right behind them about to hit Ash and Pikachu. Ash held Pikachu and then held on tight to Charizard, Charizard then looped around Superman, Ash quickly shouted an attack move to Charizard which was Ember( A type of skill fire that Charizard will shoot out from his mouth) and burnt Superman down to the ground. Charizard followed and then landed. Ash withdrew Charizard and was left with Pikachu which was now fully rested, charged and ready to fight again

Message from Amin:          Message from Hashim:      <span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
 * This is extremely childish.
 * You should describe what happens with more detail. It sounds as though you are listing out what happens. this is what it sounds like "and then and then and then" "Superman then got up and was very angry" Describe with more detail and use better vocabulary. "and then finally"
 * You are not allowed to put words in capitals to emphasize, exaggerate or exclaim. "RED BULL"
 * "Superman in the eye" Superman has more than one eye.
 * I feel you people could have done a lot better in many aspects, to begin with, you could have chosen a more mature topic.
 * The whole thing needs to be read through and checked for errors; example “<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Ash shouting a lot of special **attack** such …” <span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
 * There is no basic story line, it sounds like you write about the first thing which crosses your mind. What exactly are you guys building up this scene into anyway? It all seems so casual, try writing in a less comic way and make less use of onomatopoeia.
 * <span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'">It’s about time for you guys to stop acting like little children stuck amongst a frenzy of cartoons, and write some content which suits your age.