fatin+&+Honey

Head feeling sore, eyes burning up, breathe smelled as if I had 2 dozen kegs. That ran in to my mind on what happened to me and what I was doing all night. I set up from the couch and saw that the whole place was a mess. I heard a noise from the bathroom. Sounded like a flush. A guy came out and said,” How you doing,Damien?” I felt kind of weird to see a fat guy walking around with his boxers in my house. Plus, I don’t even know that guy! Beer cans, half eaten pizzas, and smoothies all smudged on my ceiling. Must have been a wild party last night, though I didn’t know why there was a party. I walked into the kitchen and saw my friend lying on the floor half naked with a beer keg in his arms. I said,” Dude, wake up! What the hell happened here?” “I don’t know man… and why do I smell like beer?”, said my friend ,Derek. Then, I asked the fat guy what happened. He said,” Dude, you had a party,an awesome party! Loads of people came crashing in for the party! You really pulled this one off man.”I thought to myself, how come me and Derek didn’t know about the party and everyone knew about it. In just one night we couldn’t remember anything at all. So,me and Derek decided to call our girlfriends who are twins to see if they knew anything about it. I looked around to find my phone but I couldn’t find it. “Dude, where’s my phone?”I asked. “Where’s your phone dude?” he said. I said again, “Dude, where’s my phone?” He said,” Where’s your phone dude?” At the end I gave up.
 * __ Dude, where’s my phone?????  __**

So I decided to take a shower while the other two were watching T.V. There was no hot water so I had cold water to shower with. After showered, I told Derek that we needed to look for my phone and suggested if we could go to the twin’s house and asked if they knew where my phone was. Derek did not respond instead he was staring at me as if he just saw a big fat monster. I looked at him in a puzzled look without understanding what was going on. So I ignored Derek and headed to the washroom to style my hair. As I was walking, I saw a reflection of my face but with a different body. I thought I must be seeing things but I was wrong. “Arrgh...I have Boobs!” I screamed. I didn’t know what to do although I must admit I was having a very hot sexy body which every girl would die for and I really liked the body...Wait a minute, what I was thinking? I liked to admire the body on girls but not on me, I mean I am a guy and I needed to get my body back. I was so frustrated that I could not stop whining and there I was not hearing any responses from him again. When I turned around to look at him, he was looking at my body.

“Oh SHIBBY! Dude, you got some extra fine things right there!’’ said Derek. “What the hell are you looking at? Wait... are they nice?” said Damien. Derek said,’’ Its sweet!’’ At that very moment I kind of felt a very awkward moment right there where my friend is looking at my so called boobs which just grew in few minutes. How awkward can that be? “How can I get boobs in just few minutes?” Damien said. ‘’Probably it’s by those pills you took just now to reduce your headache.” said Derek. I look at the label and it said ‘BOOB GROWING PILL.’ Now that is weird. Damien said, “Alright forget it. I’ve had enough! Let’s just get to the twins house and try to find my cell phone. This is so not shibby right now.” “What about your....boobs dude? Don’t you want to get rid of it?” said Derek. “Probably you're right. There is only one man who can do this and I know just the person who can fix it.” We got out of the house, took our old fashioned mini cooper and drove to my friend's place. He is a so called guru which cleanses people’s body. “Dude, help me out! I HAVE BOOBS!” Damien said.’‘Correction, ‘I HAVE NICE BOOBS’. Even though you’re a guy and all but I have got to say those are some really sweet things you have!” said Derek. “I’ve got to say you really screwed up yourself this time, Damien. Yea, you had those times that you had some fun which ends up having you to get your butt bone broken and having your head waxed literally, but I got to say this is something else.” Said Slim. “Just help me out dude! I can’t go walking around with a pair of D cup size boobs!” Damien said. “Alright but I’m going to put you to sleep. So you won’t feel a thing and Damien... you owe me for this.” Said Slim. After a couple of hours I woke up and my so called boobs were gone! ‘’Oh, sweet! How did you do it Slim?” said Damien. “All I did was just to call a plastic surgeon to get rid of your.. boobs. Not that hard, Damien.” Said Slim. “Thanks dude! I owe you a lot! What can I do to repay you?’’ said Damien. ‘’You can take me to that Chinese restaurant that I’ve been craving for awhile.’’Said Slim. ‘’Awesome! Will go to that Wanton restaurant that we always go to.”Said Derek. “Will have to take the drive thru because we have to meet the twins.’’ Said Damien. “Sweet.” Said Derek.

 On our way, we saw a gigantic wanton restaurant with shiny looking speaker box. So we decided to try the food from this restaurant and not go to the usual place it was farther away. When we reached there, we began to order what we wanted to eat. First, the speaker said “Welcome, what would you like to have for your meal?” Damien answered “I would like to have chicken rice with wanton soup, please”. Then the speaker replied “And then?” “Oh, and I would like to have ... fish ball noodle soup and two packets of fried chicken. Mmm...That’s going to be yummy!” Again the speaker said “And then?” This time Guru said “I want one large bowl of wanton noodle with extra sauce and a cup of lovely Jasmine tea, please”.The speaker repeated again “And then?” “Umm...that’s all we wanted, thanks” said Guru. “And then?” said the speaker. It just did not seem to end as the speaker kept repeating “and then...And then” and it could not shut up. Guru got very mad that he crushed the speaker into pieces with his rough huge hands to shut the speaker up. However it did not work, in fact, it got worse. This time it was louder and was repeating the same words “Chicken...Chicken...Kuku...Kuku...”Guru got madder and was attempting to do something more to the annoying speaker but something stopped him. It was the guard who was running towards our direction. We quickly ran into the car and drove off without having our meals. We decided that we should just go straight to the twin’s house and thinking they might have prepared something delicious for us to eat. Guru was sitting very stiffly looking with his mouth drooling as if he was meditating and we could hear his stomach churning like an engine. At last we reached at the twin’s house, it was 4 pm and we hungry and exhausted from a very long drive. As we reached the twins house, Slim had coolen off and was calm. We rang their door bell and something happened. The last thing I saw was a socket punch. I got up and found a bag of frozen peas on my face and an instance pain on my right eye. “You really got a big one there.” Said Slim. ‘’What happened?” ‘’Your girlfriends gave you a hard knocking.” Said Slim. ‘’Where’s Derek?’’ said Damien. ‘’uh....He got his Little Dereks hit hard. He’s having one big ice pack on it though.’’ Derek came in and said, ’’You ok dude?’’ Damien said, “Yea, how’s your uh.. thing?” ’’Well at least my little boys are fine for now.” said Derek. Later the girls came into the room with faces that no boyfriend would want to see. ‘’Hey girls? Did you catch the guy who punched your most loyal and wonderful boyfriends?’’ said Damien. ‘’Shut up you two. We want to talk to you both! What the hell were you two doing last night?!’’said the girls. Derek said, ‘’Long story short we didn’t know what exactly happened last night?” ‘’You guys came to our house half naked with army helmets on and carrying beer kegs in your hands and started shouting like lunatics! Do you know how embarrassing is that?!” said Amber. “Yea, and plus you so called wonderful boyfriends brought people to the house, started taking pictures and messing up the whole house. Plus the worse thing is yesterday was our anniversary!’’ said Samantha. ‘’Dude! Now I remember. We wanted to crash the party here for the twins and something happened. Which I’m not sure what.” Said Derek. ‘’Look girls, were sorry about last night. We didn’t actually know what we were thinking. Hope you two can forgive us.” Said Damien. Derek added in and said, “Yea, were sucky boyfriends. Though we got the anniversary gifts long time ago but we forgot about it.’’ “give them a break you two. Heck even Damien had to go through having boobs for a couple of hours and a fight with a stupid Wanton drive thru machine.’’ Said Slim. ‘’Well ok, but you two have to promise that you both won’t forget about our anniversary.’’ Said the twins. ‘’Done!” Said Derek and Damien. We both hug the twins and were happy. ‘’oh..I almost forgot. Damien, you left your phone here.” Said Amber. ‘’Sweet! My phone!” Said Damien. “Hey dude there’s your phone.” Said Derek. Lastly Slim said something, “You guys are really some crazy bastards you know that?” Derek and Damien said, Totally!”

Message from Rue and Uzi: The first paragraph is funny and interesting. Furthermore, good use of structure, as well as expressions, have been accomplished. However we lost focus on how the scene suddenly changed from the venue of the house party to walking down the street. For the first paragraph we would have liked to read a bit further into it, instead of just a sudden end.