Amin+Bhai+n+Hashim

__**Heartbroken**__

Hashim


 * She spread her charms like the evening breeze, sweeping away every man in her path. Sneaky were her ways and blind is what she made them. Petite figure and the perfect smile went glamorously with her flowy brown hair which curled down in steps. Large oval hoops dangling half way down her cheecks and shades hiding her sparkling eyes.**

Amin

I saw her from a distance, so happy and innocent, bopping her head to the music she was listening to and meandering in and out of the crowd of Preston city. Although not making it so obvious, people were staring at her beauty, not just men even women (either the women were lesbian or they had never seen a girl as pretty and elegant as her.) With her sparkling eyes looking down, she picked up her pace until she bumped into a man standing near a phone booth. Out of shock she looked up and kissed the man on his lips and then walked off into the distance with him holding hands. All this seemed to be happening in slow motion. it felt as though that one kiss lasted for 5 minutes however there was something weird about the kiss it seemed unwilling. I watched them until they blended into the crowd and disappeared.

Amin

What was I doing? She was god's gift to earth and I let it just happily stroll away! No I have to find out more about this girl. I sprinted into her direction. I had to find out more about this precious object. Finally, after speeding round the city, I caught sight of her behind it was still walking, holding hands. They sat themselves outside a cafe called Brucianis. I need to remeber this name if this is her regular cafe. This was when I saw a tear slide down her cheek and land gently on the table. What was wrong? Was she having relationship problems? Wait, was he her boyfriend? Or were they married? I had to find out. Walking past them, I took a glance at the man's left hand as he was ordering an ice blended caramel frapuccino. Thank God there was no ring but a careless look on his face. Was she being blackmailed by this man? He didn't seem to care for her. Something was going on here. I had to find out.

Yasmin I stood just outside the entrance to the cafe, holding a newspaper nonchalantly up my face, so as not to draw attention to myself. For a moment, I almost felt like laughing and walking away. What was I doing here, like some deranged stalker, employing completely transparent spy tactics? What did I really expect was going to happen between the two of them? That all of a sudden this man was going to pull out a 6mm knife, I would jump out and rescue her, and she would realise she was actually in love with //me?// Poor, plain, old me. Still, something kept me from getting up and walking away. I suppose it was the look on her face. She sat herself at the table, absent-mindedly fingering the embroidery on her skirt, staring deeply into the eyes of the man across from her. Her hands wandered to her belly and that was when I registered, with a slight shock, that there was a fullness about it, something I hadn't noticed earlier. She must have been about three months pregnant.

Amin After paying they got up and walked away. He took hold of her hand, she was reluctant to take it but she seemed as though she didn't have a choice. They walked up to a black BMW car and the door was opened by a chauffeur. So they were wealthy. Oh damn! my car was about 1 mile away. There were no taxis in the vicinity there was nothing i could possibly do. All I could do was watch their shadows behind the tinted black window until they turned a corner and so i did, I watched them. Just as they turned the corner, I saw the man's hand raise and then head to her face. Something was definetely wrong here. I had to find out. I sprinted after the car. 

Norman: I find your story pretty interesting and mysterious. A good read, just some minor mistakes here and there, and too much over exaggeration of description in some parts of the story. Oh, and never put your own thoughts into brackets on your paragraphs.  Melody : sorry that I had to change the background colour in this page... cause it was too striking... Anyway, Besides some of the spelling and grammer errors ( if I've not mistaken), it was all very well done..... you guys described everything very interestingly. I have nothing else to say.... =D

Nicolas: Your story has nice descriptions of people and feelings and I enjoy reading them. Personally I think that the main character must be a serial stalker =o= following the first pretty lass he spots. I also think it went into the story a little too quickly. Other than that it is interesting and i would like to see how the story develops.